As I glance up at my TV and realise that one of the many Barbie films on my planner is still playing, even though the baby is in bed (a note here to explain that my baby is a boy, not a girl, he just really likes Barbie…OK!!) I think to myself, tonight is the night. The night I finally sit down and start the blog I promised myself I would start when I was pregnant.
I’m not starting this blog because I want to make money and work from home, it’s not even because I think I’m nailing parenting and all should learn from my wisdom! It’s really just because this baby thing that I’ve been doing for nearly 9 months now is probably the biggest and most responsible thing I’ve ever done and I want to document it. Even if the only purpose of that is for myself and my partner to look back and think “we did it!” I still want to do it. I still want to write down all those wins and all those fails, to remember this journey. Maybe I’ll show it to the baby when he’s bigger and he’ll be able to see himself grow up through it.
So, that’s my motivation for clacking away on my laptop at 10.30pm when I could be getting some well-earned sleep.
I have found my transition to motherhood a tough one. I miss getting drunk…a lot!! I can’t stop swearing around the baby, which is really going to be a bugger when he starts to speak (if his first word is shit, my mother will kill me) I really miss sleeping in and putting myself first all the time. I basically miss my life….BUT, I’ve gained so much, I’ve gained tiny hands that grab my fingers and pull my hair, a little tiny mouth which has just learned to do kisses which basically means he dribbles on my face at close range a thousand times a day. I’ve gained noise and routine and busyness, bathtimes and bottles and laughter and so many things which make me immeasurably happy that I wouldn’t change him for the world.